ImagineMyThoughtsInWords

I was never me as you've come to know me. I'm skeptical sitting here trying to tell you of all the things to expect. Yet at the same time, I want to give you plenty of time to leave, to run away from me - a chance to save yourself and me. You see, I grew up a broken little girl. Giving little to no love at all and receiving just as much. I didn't want it anyway. I didn't know why everyone needed it, when all people do is leave. Even the obligation of a parent loving their child seemed quite fickle and conditional. I am a product of how love traumatized me. My first love left me at my softest, for a few years, alone and stranded. My second one didn't love me like I did him, or if at all he did I might never know. Look at me now, sitting here beside you ripping my soul apart, completely bare and exposed to you. But you'll leave too, eventually at some point, but in the meantime you'll be here. I'll spend that time with you being exactly what you desire. As...

 At some point while living in the void, I've written my soul to the ashes of my entire past, present and future. Risen as a phoenix to the lies I've known and the truths I've always thought. I've known how to hide my debilitating nature to the presence of my emotion, my greatest super power. I hold my magic hostage for rainy days, or perhaps to keep my silence for when tragedy strikes.  I've been derived from my own internal chaos, shoved deeper into the hole I've intuitively perpetuated. I've lost count of all the marks and signs telling me to ''slow down or let it go or just do both''.  I mimic a little girl trying to fill up space in shoes that are too big, compensating for not compensating enough, feeling guilt for feeling guilty. A one hit wonder sometimes with my writing but a wholesome drive-through for everybody's use, loving without asking, demanding, expecting. Only to give until there's absolutely nothing left. I can paint...