ImagineMyThoughtsInWords

 What a month this has been.  With everything that's been happening to me, it almost felt like an entire year went by. I keep revisiting some part of my life, when I'd held on to empty souls that could never let love in. They left and took a piece of my little hope, to fix their broken with the one I hid so I could hold them without burning a hole through their already damaged heart. What a tragic way to gain and lose isn't it?  I've mourned a heart I never broke, and yearn for the one I never stole. Ironic how both inhabit one body. How pathetic I am to have loved so carelessly I thought, without boarders, without the fear of consequence and so unconsciously. It is sin to be that comfortable and yet so "eggshelled" from the soles of my feet. I chose a love that killed me every time without batting an eye because I told my heart to be at peace with my destroyer. Look at me now, choosing to be nobody's mess but my own and completely thriving in it. I though...

I suppose I should say I'm back. To be quite frank I don't know how this will last, but I do know I need some form of escape from my tragic reality.  I should tell you I've been writing in the comfort of my all my devices, but haven't really felt any of them honest enough or relatable enough to put up. Most of it has been about love and I really want to stray from that concept for a while. One thing I can attest to is that these past couple of months have chipped away parts of me gradually. I've made it a point, to myself at least, to be as open and honest about my mental and emotional health. I debated whether it is okay to speak about it here; a fear of being judged or sounding in need of pity from strangers and friends have been great motivators to keep the deeper chaos to self. But I figured, as usual, someone might need to know they're not struggling alone because I do. The past weeks I've had to admit to myself that I might need help, to declutter my l...